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With separation comes the opportunity to pursue a new life. Those who find themselves moving out of the home they once shared with their former partner may view this as an opportunity to look for a new job, go back to school, or relocate to be closer to extended family. For parents with custody agreements in Maryland, however, relocating to a new state likely requires a modification of your existing court order. And depending on the nature of the move, parents should be aware of how a potential move could impact their custody arrangement going forward. Revisit Your Divorce and Custody Agreements Before Taking Action Before you make any decision about relocating, remember to consult with your family attorney as soon as the issue presents itself. This is not something to wait and see until you are packing your bags to move. Your legal representative can help walk you through the specifics of your custody agreements to determine whether you need a court order before moving. Many child custody agreements provide specific steps which must be taken before relocating, including giving written notice to the other parent and the number of days the notice must be given before moving. Even a move to a new county in the same State may require a court order, as your children’s education and primary healthcare providers, and specifics relating to custody exchanges, including the time the child will spend in the car between homes and activities, may be impacted by the move. Understand What Factors the Court Considers Ultimately, if parents cannot reach an agreement to modify custody due to a relocation of a parent, the Court will decide. The Courts are required to guide their decisions based on what is in the best interest of the children, not for the parent. For example, if your desired relocation is precipitated by a new, higher-paying job, the Court will want to know how that is in the best interest of your child. The Court will also want to know why it is better for your child to leave his or her current life to move somewhere completely different and presumably, away from the child’s other parent. The change to your co-parent's custody access will be a very important consideration before a court would approve the child’s relocation. If your move greatly hinders your co-parent’s ability to regularly see the children, a judge may not agree on relocation. If you believe you need a court’s determination on the relocation, allow yourself ample time for the case to proceed through the Court system. Many courts do not see a parent’s relocation as an emergency; however, if a parent relocates the children without an agreement or court order, it could trigger an emergency proceeding. Consider the Role of Your Co-parent Convincing your co-parent that a move would be in the best interests of the children may be a difficult task, but mediation and guidance from certified Parent Coordinators may help facilitate the discussion. This will be a difficult discussion, but it is important to be forthcoming and consider all options before relocating. You may feel as though now is the right time for a move but remember to consider the wishes of your children. If your move will have a minimal impact on your children’s quality of life or well-being, or if the move could potentially damage the relationship your children share with your co-parent, it may not currently be in their best interests. Document Everything Even if parents reach an agreement on relocation, the new custody agreement should be documented. Consider how the relocation will impact the regular schedule, holidays, special occasions, and vacations. You should also think about how to handle activities that a child may want to do with school friends if that child will be spending weekends with a parent in another location. What to Keep in Mind if Your Co-parent Wants to Relocate With the Children When you share custody of your children, be prepared to understand that a major change in the life of one co-parent can greatly affect the life of the other. If your co-parent announces their wishes to move to a new area with the children, do not panic. However, you may want to contact a lawyer to assess the situation at your earliest convenience. Bear in mind that even if your co-parent lands a higher-paying job in a different state, the Court may not agree to the relocation of your children if the other parent is left with significantly reduced visitation time. A court may decide that a higher income for one parent will not improve a child’s overall quality of life as much if they are separated from the other parent. If you have concerns over a potential new move, either for yourself or your co-parent, do not hesitate to reach out to an experienced family attorney to discuss your options. If you have questions about child custody and relocating after divorce, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. The legal team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read next: How to Handle Your Child's Birthday While Living Apart What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? FAQ’s: Child Custody and COVID-19 FAQ: Everything You Want to Know About Divorce or Custody Mediation in Maryland Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

As a divorce attorney and certified Parent Coordinator, my clients often ask for book recommendations on effective co-parenting. Co-parenting can test even the most amicable of relationships. And like parenting, there is no guidebook for how to be the perfect co-parent. However, there are plenty of reputable and science-backed resources available. Over the years, I have compiled a list of books that are tried-and-true based on my experience and speaking to other professionals. Here are my top 12 books to help you co-parent effectively. I encourage you to read through the list and choose the books that resonate with you and your circumstances the most. If you have any questions about co-parenting, please reach out. The team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help. 1. Dr. Gina’s Guide to a Kid-Friendly Divorce Written by Gina Santoro, Ph.D., N.C.S.P. Purchase on Amazon “Dr. Gina's Guide to a Kid-Friendly Divorce is the product of Dr. Santoro's experiences over the past 13 years working with hundreds of families in transition. This handbook provides a framework for parents to follow during the difficult process of separation and divorce. Included are some of the most common challenges families experience, how to manage them effectively, and information to guide decision-making during this critical time. Dr. Santoro's hope is to help guide families through the difficult journey of transition and to help co-parents reduce their conflict. Dr. Santoro is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Ellicott City, Maryland.” 2. BIFF for Co-Parent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts Written by Bill Eddy, Annette Burns, et al. Purchase on Amazon “For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming emails, texts, and conversations has grown in use by thousands of people dealing with a difficult co-parent and with those who may have a high conflict personality, and it helps with those who don't. This third book in the BIFF™ Conflict Communication Series is especially devoted to parents dealing with issues during, and after, separation and divorce. Complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method, and numerous practical examples, readers will learn the intricacies of their new parenting environment. When parents use this approach, not only do they feel good about their end of the written or verbal conversation, but it tends to influence the other parent to communicate more productively as well. While it's simple and practical, it's not natural for most of us because we are hooked by emotional intensity. This book can help you reduce the conflict and regain your sanity by learning what to write and what not to write.” 3. So, What's Your Proposal?: Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds! Written by Bill Eddy, LSCW, Esq. Purchase on Amazon “Complain! Complain! Complain! Have you ever dealt with high-conflict people who blame you or others for one problem after another without taking any responsibility themselves? Don’t you feel like wringing their necks? Instead, consider the simple method taught in this book for getting them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else. Get them to quickly focus on the future, take responsibility, and contribute to finding solutions to problems – including those they created themselves or any problem. When people complain and blame you, you don’t need to defend yourself or get angry back. Just calmly say: “So, what’s your proposal?” and focus on teaching the simple 3-step method explained in this book. This method will help you stay calm and confident while earning the respect of those around you – even those who want to blame you!” 4. Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap: Essential Parenting Skills When a Child Resists a Parent Written by John A. Moran Ph.D., Tyler Sullivan, Matthew Sullivan Ph.D. Purchase on Amazon “Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap helps parents understand the reasons why some children resist a parent during divorce – a reality that touches many families. Combining years of experience in intensive work with families struggling with parent-child estrangement, Overcoming Barriers’ first publication offers practical insight on two central questions: Why does a child resist contact with a parent? How can I best support my child to have healthy relationships with both parents? This guide details practical strategies for working through the significant challenges both parents may experience with a resisting child. Common scenarios and concrete solutions are presented both for preferred parents and resisted parents.” 5. Overcoming Parent-Child Contact Problems: Family-Based Interventions for Resistance, Rejection, and Alienation Written by Abigail M. Judge and Robin M. Deutsch Purchase on Amazon “Overcoming Parent-Child Contact Problems describes interventions for families experiencing a high conflict divorce impasse where a child is resisting contact with a parent. It examines in detail one such intervention, the Overcoming Barriers approach, involving the entire family and combining psycho-education and clinical intervention. The book is divided into two parts: Part I presents an overview of parental alienation, including clinical approaches and a critical analysis of the many challenges associated with traditional outpatient family-based interventions. Part II presents the Overcoming Barriers approach, describing core aspects of the intervention and ways to adapt its clinical techniques to outpatient practice. Overcoming Parent-Child Contact Problems is geared toward mental health clinicians and legal professionals who work with families in high conflict and where a child resists visitation with a parent.” 6. Overcoming the Alienation Crisis: 33 Coparenting Solutions Written by John A Moran Ph.D., Shawn McCall Psy.D.Esq, Matthew Sullivan Ph.D. Purchase on Amazon “Doctors Moran, McCall, and Sullivan are three psychologists who together have many decades of experience working with high-conflict parents. They regularly write professional articles and make presentations at conferences for counselors, attorneys, and judges about high-conflict coparenting problems including alienation, domestic violence, and parents with mental health conditions. They know from experience that coparenting is never easy, even in the best of circumstances, and also that splitting up one household with children into two separate households is guaranteed to require some adjustments for both parents and children. Children challenge even the most skillful coparents. It has also been their experience that generally after hefty resources are spent, the courts find it is in the child's best interest to have a relationship with both parents, and the courts will order the family into reunification therapy that offers skills development suggestions similar to those described in this book.” 7. The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity Written by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris Purchase on Amazon “Dr. Nadine Burke Harris was already known as a crusading physician delivering targeted care to vulnerable children. But it was Diego – a boy who had stopped growing after a sexual assault – who galvanized her journey to uncover the connections between toxic stress and lifelong illnesses. The stunning news of Burke Harris’s research is just how deeply our bodies can be imprinted by ACEs – adverse childhood experiences like abuse, neglect, parental addiction, mental illness, and divorce. Childhood adversity changes our biological systems and lasts a lifetime. For anyone who has faced a difficult childhood, or who cares about the millions of children who do, the fascinating scientific insight and innovative acclaimed health interventions in The Deepest Well represent vitally important hope for preventing lifelong illness for those we love and for generations to come.” 8. What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Written by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry Purchase on Amazon “This book is going to change the way you see your life. Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the book, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future – opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.” 9. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones Written by James Clear Purchase on Amazon “No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving – every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights.” 10. The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Written by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. Purchase on Amazon “In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain – and make accessible – the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth. Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.” 11. The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired Written by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. Purchase on Amazon “One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out – in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships – is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s: Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change. Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions – both positive and negative – and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior. Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone. Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up – when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!” 12. The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret To Loving Children Effectively Written by Gary Chapman Purchase on Amazon “You know you love your child. But how can you make sure your child knows it? The #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages® has helped millions of couples learn the secret to building a love that lasts. Now discover how to speak your child’s love language in a way that he or she understands. Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell help you: discover your child’s love language, assist your child in successful learning, use the love languages to correct and discipline more effectively, build a foundation of unconditional love for your child, plus find dozens of tips for practical ways to speak your child’s love language. Discover your child's primary language – then speak it – and you will be well on your way to a stronger relationship with your flourishing child.” If you have questions about co-parenting, contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or call our main number 410-842-1070. Read next: What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? What to Expect with the “Parent Coordination” Process What if My Co-Parent and I Disagree on COVID-19 Protocol? Everything You Want to Know About “Parent Coordination” (FAQ) How to Transition from Parents to Co-Parents Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

If you are considering or currently going through the divorce process, or have recently finalized your divorce, there are important measures you should take to separate and protect your personal information from your ex. Here are the steps you can take to protect yourself, your family, and your information before, during, and after the divorce proceedings for extra peace of mind. Before we dive in, if you feel as though your ex is willing and capable of harming you or your family, please call the local authorities or the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522. If you need legal assistance to obtain a Protective or Peace Order, or to initiate a custody or divorce case against your abuser, please email Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or call our main number at 410-842-1070. Protect Your Digital Identity First and foremost, change the passwords on your digital accounts and consider using two-step verification codes to further improve the security of your accounts. Password updates are also important security measures against hackers and all-too-common data breaches in this digital age. Remember, your passwords may be saved on devices that were once shared with your ex. Even if you did not share any device with your ex, you may have used their device to log in to your account at one point. You also may be connected to your child’s account; that device, going back and forth between homes, could lead to access on your personal accounts. Even the passcode to your personal phone should be changed. You may also want to consider shutting down (but not deleting) your social media accounts as well. When choosing new passwords, make sure to use new, random passwords that are not easy to guess. Be Knowledgeable of Your Finances Shared financial accounts can be complicated to untangle following a divorce, even when it is amicable. It is important to keep records of your financial assets and liabilities including pay stubs, account statements, and tax forms, as they may prove useful in potential litigation. For added security, make copies of family birth certificates, passports, diplomas, and other personally identifiable documents. It may be helpful to also keep a document containing your monthly expenses as you will be asked for that information at some point during your divorce. If you do not know where to find any financial information, keep an eye out for mail being received at your home or pull a free credit report from a reporting service like Equifax, TransUnion, or Experion. You can also order tax transcripts from the IRS website. Gather Your "Team" of Resources A divorce requires that you have a team in place to assist you throughout the process. The team can include your trusted family and friends and your family law attorney. Other people you may want to include on your “team,” as circumstances require, are a good therapist, someone to assist you with childcare and transportation of the children, a job coach, a meal delivery service, a cleaning service, etc. Anyone who can help you during a difficult time by making something easier for you is a resource you may want to consider. If you have questions about how to protect yourself during the divorce process, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. The legal team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read next: What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? How Can I Modify My Child Custody Decision? FAQ’s: Child Custody and COVID-19 Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

The new year provides motivation to start things off on the right foot, or at least attempt to do so. Many people use the new year to make resolutions on how to better themselves. For separated and divorced parents, committing (and recommitting) to high standards of co-parenting behavior should be atop the list of New Year’s resolutions. Here are a few resolutions to keep in mind to help navigate your evolving family dynamic. When in Doubt, Compromise Learning to compromise with your co-parent is a skill that will carry both of you forward into the new year and beyond. Even if past discussions often dissolve into arguments, the new year can offer an opportunity to improve your skills. This new year, resolve to keep arguments and disagreements with your co-parent to a minimum. If you are not in agreement with something your co-parent says, take a day to think about your response before sending it. In that response, address facts, not feelings. And keep your response focused on your children and the issue at hand. There is no need to rehash the past issues in your relationship when the decision is whether the child should play soccer or baseball. Keep Each Other Informed This year, resolve to communicate regularly with your co-parent about important issues relating to the children. These important issues may include matters relating to health, education, and the children’s overall welfare and well-being. Share information in a straightforward, neutral manner with the other parent and ask that they do the same in return. A shared calendar may also help parents keep track of important events going on in their children’s lives. Demonstrate Respect for Your Co-parent Whether you realize it or not, your children are watching you and how you act about their other parent. Even if you do not say the words, your body language may reflect disdain for the other parent. If your children observe your dislike for their other parent, they may feel they need to choose loving one parent over the other. This year, resolve to take note of how you react towards the other parent and try to reframe your behavior if needed. Work with a therapist, read books on the topic or ask someone who knows you well for feedback. Consider Parent Coordination Services Personal resolutions offer a great framework for how to behave during the divorce process. But if your co-parent decides not to respect your decisions or chooses to make the process more difficult than need be, it may be time to look for other solutions. Parent Coordinators offer their services to co-parents who are struggling to communicate and compromise on what is best for them and their families. If you and your ex-partner are failing to reach an agreement over the terms of your roles as co-parents, resolve to consider the ways Parent Coordination Services can help you and your ex-partner find common ground. In the new year, resolve to remember that you are not alone, and help is always available for those who are ready to seek it out. If you have questions about Parent Coordination, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. The legal team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read Next: How to Handle Your Child's Birthday While Living Apart What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? How to Transition from Parents to Co-Parents FAQ’s: Child Custody and COVID-19 Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

Towson, MD | Super Lawyers announced that Laurie M. Wasserman has been selected as a 2022 Top 100 Maryland Super Lawyer and 2022 Top 50 Women Super Lawyer. Wasserman Family Law associate attorneys Emily Koning and Steffani Langston also received recognition as 2022 Top Rated Family Law Attorneys in Towson, MD Rising Stars. Super Lawyers is a national rating service that selects the United States’ top lawyers in over 70 practice areas. The selection process is conducted through peer nominations and evaluations, as well as independent research. Super Lawyers are known for their high degree of recognition by their peers and for their professional achievement in the field of law. Laurie M. Wasserman has been selected as a Top Rated Family Law Attorney in Towson, MD every year since 2017. She has been recognized as a Top 50 Maryland Super Lawyer since 2020. And she has been selected as a Top 100 Maryland Super Lawyer since 2021. This is the second year in a row that Emily Koning and Steffani Langston have been recognized as Super Lawyers Rising Stars. Rising Stars are on their way to becoming Top Rated Super Lawyers. As associate attorneys, this designation is an honor. “Thank you to our peers for selecting me, Emily, Steffi for these awards,” said Laurie M. Wasserman. “We are honored and humbled! Our team is just happy to serve our clients, but these awards are always a nice reminder of our hard work and dedication. I could not be prouder of my team." Laurie M. Wasserman opened her own firm, Wasserman Family Law in 2018. She represents family law clients in the greater Baltimore, Maryland metropolitan areas. Her legal practice focuses on family law issues such as child custody, child support, adoption, divorce, and mediation. She is certified to resolve disputes within high-conflict families with Parent Coordination. She is also a Child’s Counsel with the Administrative Office of the Courts and is certified to mediate child and parenting issues. Emily Koning and Steffani Langston are Associate Attorneys at Wasserman Family Law. They practice all aspects of family law and are an integral part of Wasserman Family Law team. To learn more about Super Lawyers, please visit here.

A new custody case, identified by the initials B.O. v. S.O., was recently decided by the Court of Special Appeals in Maryland regarding de facto parentage and third-party standing. This is an important case to know about if you, or someone in your family, is not a parent to a child biologically or by adoption and wants to seek custody. In Maryland, a third-party (i.e. the party who is not a biological or adoptive parent) can only petition the Court for custody of a child under two circumstances: De Facto Parentage: The third-party can establish themselves as a “de facto parent” meaning that they have served the role of a parent to a child that is not theirs. Third-Party Standing: The third-party must prove that the biological/adoptive parents are unfit, or that exceptional circumstances exist so much so that the child remaining in the custody of the biological/adoptive parents will be detrimental to the child. De-Facto Parentage To establish de facto parentage in Maryland, the third-party filing for custody must meet a high bar of legal expectations and cannot do so without the participation of one or both biological parents. The Court follows a four-part test to determine whether the third-party is considered a de facto parent. The de facto parent in question must prove all four parts to be recognized as a de facto parent. The first part of the test is that the biological/adoptive parents consented to and fostered a parent-like relationship between the third party and the child. This factor was analyzed by the Maryland Court of Special Appeals in the case of B.O. v. S.O. In that case, the child’s aunt was petitioning the court for custody over the biological mother’s objection. The aunt argued that the mother consented to a parent-like relationship. The mother said that she did not. Ultimately, the court agreed with the mother and denied the aunt’s request for custody of the child. This case is important because it clarifies the first prong of the four-part test, and says that both parents must consent to a parent/child relationship between child and third party. In B.O. v. S.O., the child had lived with the aunt for an extended period of time, which was undisputed. Naturally, the aunt took on a parental role to the child. However, at no point did the biological mother actually consent to this arrangement. The mother was actively trying to regain custody of the child, which was ignored or refused by the aunt. The mother opposed the aunt’s having custody of the child from the beginning. However, given circumstances outside of the mother’s control, the child remained with the aunt. There was no evidence presented to prove that the mother ever consented—by her word or actions—to the aunt serving in a parental role to the child. Parental Fitness The aunt in that case also tried to prove that the mother was unfit, which would give the aunt standing to petition the court for custody of the child even if she was not a de-facto parent. Although the aunt presented evidence of the mother’s allegedly “unfit” background—mental health, substance abuse, physical punishment, and neglect—the court did not find that any of the evidence presented rose to the level of “unfitness.” Accordingly, the aunt’s request was denied. Because Aunt could not prove one of the four de facto parent factors, and because she could not prove parental unfitness, she could not seek custody of the child. The aunt’s request for custody of the child was denied, and custody was awarded to the mother. The lesson, in this case, is that both parents must consent to a parent/child relationship between the child and a third party. Without both parents’ consent, a third party cannot be a de-facto parent with the ability to seek custody of a non-biological, non-adoptive child. Disclaimer: This area of family law is extremely complicated. If you are seeking custody of a child that is not biologically yours, or if someone is trying to get custody of your biological/adoptive child, you should contact an experienced family attorney. If you have questions about obtaining child custody, please contact Wasserman Family Law at 410-842-1070. Our legal team of experienced family law attorneys is here to guide you through the process. Read Next: Domestic Abuse and Protective Orders What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? FAQ: Everything You Want to Know About Divorce or Custody Mediation in Maryland How to Handle Your Child's Birthday While Living Apart Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

Netflix recently released the show, Maid, which follows the story of a young woman named Alex, who has a daughter in common with a man who abuses her. The show, inspired by Stephanie Land’s memoir, has quickly become popular amongst Netflix audiences worldwide. Which begs the question—how does the show’s portrayal of domestic abuse compare to real-life legal cases? As attorneys who have handled many Protective Order cases, we have worked with real people in Alex’s situation. In case you have watched the show and have questions, we want to give you our thoughts on how the show Maid compares to the realities faced by people who are in similar situations in Maryland. The Financial Struggles In the first episode, “Dollar Store,” we see Alex keep track of the dollars she has left to spend because her boyfriend, Sean, has kept her financially dependent on him. In our experience, this financial stress is very real for a lot of people who are trying to get out of abusive relationships. Lack of financial resources is one of the many reasons that it is difficult to get out of an abusive relationship. In a Maryland Protective Order case, a judge can grant emergency family maintenance—meaning that the abuser can be ordered to provide financial support to people who the abuser has a duty to support. While there is no guarantee that emergency family maintenance will be awarded, it’s important to know that certain people have the right to request it. The Lack of Abuse Reporting Throughout the show, Alex is questioned by various people about why she did not call the police, go to the hospital, or file a report about Sean’s abusive behavior. While these kinds of questions are sometimes asked, in our experience, judges do not base their decisions on whether a report has been made in the past. Judges are trained to understand that most people who are abused are hesitant to take action that will be documented, for various complex reasons. The Definition of “Abuse” Alex is not sure that what she has experienced is considered “real abuse.” Though she has had dishes thrown at her and been screamed at in an intimidating manner, she does not seek any protection from the court. The social worker who she meets nudges her to acknowledge that she has been abused. It is important to know that in Maryland, punches, kicks, and other physical contacts are not the only actions that fit the definition of abuse. In Maryland, “abuse” is: an act that causes serious bodily harm; an act that places a person eligible for relief in fear of imminent serious bodily harm; assault in any degree; rape or sexual offense or attempted rape or sexual offense in any degree; false imprisonment; stalking; or revenge porn. Thus, if someone says or does something threatening, that makes you think you are about to be injured, then a judge could find that abuse has occurred. If the person for whom relief is sought is a child, “abuse” may also include the physical or mental injury of a child under circumstances that indicate that the child's health or welfare is harmed or at substantial risk of being harmed by a person with a certain specified relationship to the child, or sexual abuse of a child, whether physical injuries are sustained or not. The Legal Process In the show, Alex goes to court alone and tries her best to advocate for herself, but we see her get lost in the process, and she starts to hear “legal, legal, legal” instead of the words that the attorney and judge are saying. Going to court is intimidating in most circumstances, and having an attorney to compassionately help with the process can reduce some of the stress and anxiety that a person who has been abused might otherwise feel. No one should assume that they must go to court alone. There are organizations that are devoted to helping victims of abuse, with legal representation, housing, and other resources. The attorneys at our office are also here to help, whether that is by providing representation ourselves, or by connecting people with other agencies that can assist them. If you have questions about protective orders, please contact Wasserman Family Law at 410-842-1070. You are not alone, and we are here to help. An experienced family law attorney will guide you through the Peace and Protective Order process and ensure your safety. Read Next: Domestic Abuse and Protective Orders What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? Domestic Violence Survivors: You Are Not Alone Domestic Abuse & The Holidays Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

On November 2, 2021, the CDC announced its recommendation of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine for children ages 5 through 11. The announcement came just days after the FDA authorized the emergency use of the Pfizer vaccine for children, finding that the vaccine was 90.7% effective in preventing COVID-19 for those ages 5 through 11. We find that many co-parents disagree on whether their children should be vaccinated. We understand that parents are concerned for the well-being of their children, and acknowledge that both sides of the argument have reasons for their position. However, conflict over whether to vaccinate your children may escalate and require the help of an unbiased third party, like a Parent Coordinator. If you and your co-parent do not agree on vaccinating your children, we recommend the following courses of action before resorting to litigation. Start with the Facts When making medical decisions on behalf of your children, you want to make the most well-informed and safest decisions possible. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hosts a wealth of resources for parents of children of all ages. The CDC recently added a resource webpage specific to COVID-19 vaccines for children and teens, where parents can access information regarding vaccine dosage, administration, preparedness, and side effects, among many other topics. Parents may also want to consult with the pediatrician for input. If your child is enrolled in a private school, you may want to find out if the school is considering a vaccine mandate. Know the Concerns Prior to the FDA’s authorization of the COVID-19 vaccine for children, a series of polls revealed that many parents remain unsure as to whether the vaccine is safe for their kids. A national poll from the University of Michigan Health found that, among those polled, 51% of parents of children ages 3 through 11 said it was unlikely their child would receive the vaccine upon approval. Additionally, a national poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation concluded that four in ten parents of children under the age of 12 would rather “wait and see” before getting their child vaccinated. Parents may have many reasons for taking a position for or against the COVID-19 vaccine for young children. It is important that both parents feel heard, and that all concerns are acknowledged. This discussion should be done at an appropriate time and place, and not in front of your children. Your children may also be concerned about the vaccine. Children are now seeing what their peers are doing and may be talking to other children about the issue. While you and your co-parent are trying to resolve the issue, your child may be formulating his or her own opinion on it. Once you and your co-parent have decided what to do, you should agree on the best way to discuss the issue with your children so that they feel heard. Consult with a Parent Coordinator Medical decisions can be complicated, especially when deciding for your children. If you and your co-parent disagree on vaccinating your children and are looking for outside help, we encourage you to consider Parent Coordination. ​Parent Coordination helps parents resolve important issues in a prompt and cost-efficient manner. ​A Parent Coordinator is a trained, impartial third party who works with parents to reach a fair compromise on issues relating to their children. Parent Coordination may resolve the issue long before a Court could ever address it. To be certified, Parent Coordinators complete 100 hours of training, as outlined in the Maryland Rules. Areas covered in the training include mediation skills, working with high-conflict families, developmental stages of children, conflict resolution, and parenting skills. Parent Coordinators also participate in annual continuing education. A Parent Coordinator can meet with you and your co-parent to help come to a shared decision regarding vaccinating your children. You will have the opportunity to voice and address your concerns, as will your co-parent. The ultimate goal is to reach a decision that is in the best interest of the children. If you have questions about Parent Coordination, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. The legal team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read next: How to Handle Your Child's Birthday While Living Apart What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? How to Transition from Parents to Co-Parents FAQ’s: Child Custody and COVID-19 Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

Separation is a major change for a family. For many parents who are dealing with their own emotions, it is difficult to view the situation from the perspective of their children and how they may be internalizing the transition. When it comes to your children’s birthdays, the last thing parents want to do is turn the special occasion into another parent disagreement. Here are some tips on how to handle your child’s birthday post-separation. Birthdays Are About the Kids, Not the Parents During custody disputes, parents will sometimes try to include a provision which states that their kids’ birthdays must be split evenly. Some parents decide that the children celebrate their birthdays with them every alternating year, while others plan separate parties each year regardless of time and circumstance. Rarely will a parent stop to ask the child what he or she wants to do with regards to the birthday celebration. If parents are able to honor their child’s wishes about the celebration, they should make their best efforts to do so. You do not want your child’s special day to be overshadowed by parents’ hurt and anger. Coordinate and Cooperate If you can celebrate together, it is important for parents to discuss details for the celebration. Things that should be discussed are whether significant others or extended family members can attend (or if that should be saved for another time), the cost of the celebration, who will be buying specific gifts for the child, and what day the celebration will take place. Once parents have an agreement on the details, then a joint invitation can be issued to your child’s guests. Why Not Throw Two Parties? If you cannot have a shared party for any reason, then holding two separate birthday celebrations is an option. With separate celebrations, it allows the extended family to be part of the celebrations. If parents are having separate celebrations, it is still courteous to let the other parent know what your plans are and what gifts are being purchased, to avoid duplication or disappointment from the child. Pay Attention to What Your Child is Feeling Whatever you and your ex decide to do for your child’s birthday, your child may not be fully honest in expressing how they feel about the situation. Your child may have plenty of reasons to suppress their emotions, whether it be to avoid further tension or the pressure to please both parents. It is important to have open, appropriate discussions with your child. You can acknowledge your child’s feelings without giving them specific information as to why you and your ex cannot stand to be in the same room with each other. Having the child discuss the issue with his or her therapist can also be helpful. Contact Your Family Law Attorney for More Information If compromise is currently not on the table, and you believe that your ex’s behavior is affecting the happiness of your child, an experienced family law attorney at Wasserman Family Law can help. Remember that your options are not always limited to the terms in the custody order and that further amendments can be made under the right conditions if parents agree otherwise. If you have questions about custody schedules, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. The legal team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read next: What Are My Options if a Co-Parent Violates Child Custody Agreement in Maryland? How to Transition from Parents to Co-Parents How Can I Modify My Child Custody Decision? A Quicker Way to Divorce During the Pandemic FAQ’s: Child Custody and COVID-19 Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

During a divorce, larger issues like custody often get prioritized over issues such as, “Who gets to keep the couch?” or, “How are we going to split the kitchenware?”. However, the division of personal property must be addressed to get a divorce in Maryland. It is preferable, and more cost-effective, to work out the division of personal property by agreement. However, if you and your ex-partner cannot reach an agreement, we encourage you to consider the following tips. Defining Marital Property Before we jump in, it is important to define what exactly is at issue. The Court has jurisdiction to divide marital property in an absolute divorce. In Maryland, Marital property is defined as all property or assets acquired during the marriage by one or both parties. Common examples of marital property include: Real estate Vehicles Furniture, home goods, and décor Shared financial accounts and investments Excluded from marital property is: Gifts and inheritances bequeathed to one party Assets purchased by one party prior to the marriage If you and your ex cannot agree on the division of property, the Court will do so for you. As an “equitable distribution” state, Maryland Courts divide marital property fairly, but not equally. The Court looks will consider many statutory factors when dividing property, the most common being: The financial contribution of both spouses Alimony agreements Duration of the marriage Each spouse’s individual financial situation The relative size and value of the assets Make a List It is advantageous to work out the division of personal property with your ex. If lawyers get involved, you could end up spending more than what the property is worth. When communicating with your ex-partner on how to divide your marital property, you should first make a list of all the items at issue. Separate the assets which belong to only you from those you share with your ex-partner. During this process, be sure to make special notes of any specific belongings you really want to take with you, as well as those you would not mind parting with. Next, you should consider the value of the property, especially the larger items. If the item is a collectible or antique, you may want to reach out to an expert to obtain a proper valuation. Keep in mind that for divorce purposes the value of the item is not what you paid for it. Rather, it is what you would get if you a willing buyer were to purchase it from you as is. Split the Property Equitably After values are determined, it is up to you and your ex-partner to divide the property equitably. I The division of personal property item by item can be tricky. We encourage you to prioritize what is truly important to you. If an item is sentimental to your ex-partner, consider letting that item go, and perhaps your kindness will be reciprocated at a future date. Or for household furniture and furnishings you both want, it may be easier to flip a coin or trade for another item of importance to your ex-partner. Be open to the fact that you might not walk away with all the items you desire. And, when it comes to your child’s possessions, there should be comforting and familiar items in each of your households. In many cases, you will need to let go of some things and move forward. It may be better to buy a new sofa than spend time and money fighting over the old sofa. And, unless you had two of everything, each of you will need to purchase replacement items for your new residences. Sell, Sell, Sell Not every asset can be easily divided between you and your ex-partner. For big-ticket items such as vehicles and real estate, selling them may be your best option. Selling your assets secondhand and splitting the money can be a useful option for those possessions neither you nor your partner is particularly attached to. Meet With an Attorney Of course, not every couple will be able to reach an amicable agreement regarding the division of their assets. If you and your ex-partner truly cannot reach an agreement, an experienced family attorney may be able to step in and help you brainstorm other workable solutions. Do not wait until the week before your divorce hearing to begin this conversation. Dividing your personal property fairly is something you will want to start thinking about sooner rather than later. If this is something you have been delaying, reach out and speak with a family attorney today for more information as you enter this new chapter of your life. If you have questions about marital property, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read next: Your Guide to Alimony in Maryland Who Keeps the Dog in a Maryland Divorce? How Marital Property is Divided in Maryland Divorce The 10 Do’s & Don’ts of Divorce Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

If you are ever asked or summoned to testify as a witness in a trial, you may be nervous and unsure of what to expect. What you see on television is not what it is like in real life. In cases where your family or property is at stake—like a divorce or custody case—testifying is far too important to be unprepared. At Wasserman Family Law, we want our clients and any witnesses to feel as comfortable and confident as possible when testifying at a trial. Here is more information about being a witness and how you can prepare to testify as a witness in a trial. The Witness’ Role in Trial A witness is a person who has heard or seen something concerning a case being tried before a judge in court. In a trial, the witness shares their first-hand experience in hopes of providing further evidence for or against a person’s case. Attorneys for both parties can and will ask the witness questions. Unless you are a party to the case, you may be asked to wait out in the hallway prior to testifying. Once it is your turn, you will be called into the courtroom to take the stand. As a witness, you are asked to swear an oath before the Court that you will be testifying truthfully. How to Prepare to Testify as Witness If you have been asked or summoned to testify as a witness in a trial, here are some tips to help you prepare: Prepare to Answer the Questions. The attorney who requested or summoned you to testify will prepare a list of questions that they may ask you during the trial. They will give you the questions as they prepare for trial, so you are not surprised in the courtroom. The attorney requesting that you appear may wish to interview you first and practice asking and answering the questions you will hear at trial. Even with this preparation, you cannot have your prepared questions and answers with you when you testify in Court. You must only answer each question honestly and to the best of your recollection. And if you cannot recall, you should say so as opposed to guessing the answer. Ask Questions. If you have questions about your role, the questions you will be asked, or anything related to the trial, ask the attorney who requested you appear. Just be mindful that the attorney is preparing to build a case for their client and all questions should be asked before the actual trial. You cannot ask questions of the attorney while you are testifying unless you do not understand. Dress Appropriately. Please dress conservatively and respectfully. We recommend choosing business formal attire, or something you would wear to a professional interview. The Court is judging your appearance, demeanor, and credibility. All of these factors play into whether or not the Court should rely on your testimony. Be Professional. Trials are very official and formal affairs. Please be respectful of the process and the rules while in the courtroom. Speak only when you are prompted to, and always be polite. This is not the time for jokes, sarcasm, or witty banter. Take Your Time. The attorneys for both parties will ask questions and you will have the opportunity to answer them fully. Please listen to their questions carefully and wait until they are finished to answer them. Then, take your time with your response. There is no rush to answer. And if you do not know or have an answer, do not force one. Simply answer with, “I don’t know” or “I can’t remember.” Relax. We understand that being in a courtroom can be unfamiliar and intimidating. Just remember that you are there to answer questions honestly and have nothing else to worry about. Be honest. Our legal system is upheld by the truth. Without the truth, we negate everything that the law works towards. Please speak as honestly as you can before the Court. We hope you find these tips useful as you prepare to testify as a witness in a trial. If you have any questions, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. The legal team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read next: Demystifying the Divorce Process in Maryland: Part 1 Contemplating Divorce? Here Are 10 Things You Should Consider The 10 Do’s & Don’ts of Divorce Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.

Your pets are beloved members of the family. In a divorce, when partners are going from one household into two, there is a question as to who will take custody of the pets. Here are some important considerations. Pets are Property Under Maryland law, pets are considered property, in the same category as a piece of furniture or vehicle. If your pet was owned prior to the marriage, then the pre-marital owner will retain the pet in the divorce. If a pet was acquired during the marriage, then it is marital property, which is subject to equitable distribution in Maryland. Equitable distribution means that property is allocated fairly, depending on several facts and circumstances that the Court must consider. Negotiate Between Yourselves It is always preferable to come to an agreement on their own over who gets to keep the pet. In a Marital Settlement Agreement, ex-spouses can work out pet access, payment of pet-related expenses including medical bills, food, training, and boarding. Child Custody Plays a Role In some cases, the parents can agree, or a Judge may order, that the pet remains with whichever spouse has primary custody of the children. The presence of a beloved pet can help children deal with the transition from living with both parents to only one. In a joint custody arrangement, parents may agree that the pet follows the children from house to house. What to Bring to the Table If you cannot come to an agreement regarding ownership of your pet, then you should be prepared to show the Court why your pet should remain with you. Some documentation that may be helpful is: An adoption certificate with your name on it Veterinary bills paid in your name Receipts from a pet store/groomer/training course paid in your name Proof that you will be able to provide a good home for your pet following your separation Proof that you can grant your pet more of your time and attention than your ex-partner following your divorce We understand that deciding where your pet should reside after divorce can be a difficult and emotional decision. If you have questions about pets or marital property, please contact Laurie Wasserman at laurie@wassermanlawoffice.com or 410-842-1070. The legal team at Wasserman Family Law is here to help guide and advocate for you. Read next: Your Guide to Alimony in Maryland How Marital Property is Divided in Maryland Divorce The 10 Do’s & Don’ts of Divorce Disclaimer: Opinions and conclusions in these blog posts are solely those of the author unless otherwise indicated. The information contained in this blog is general in nature and is not offered and cannot be considered as legal advice for any particular situation. For legal advice, you should directly consult a lawyer to discuss the specific facts of your matter. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the author. Any links provided are for informational purposes only and by doing so, the author does not adopt or incorporate the contents. The author is the legal copyright holder of all materials on the blog, and they cannot be repurposed without permission.